Golden Adventures of Brett Hull: Issue 1 of 3

Branded Entertainment, Comic Writing, Concepting and Copywriting

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Golden Adventures of Brett Hull #1: “Slap Shot to Destiny.” Company. Writer: Walt Jaschek. Artists: Don Secrease, Bill Lux, Rick Burchett, Bill Vann. Here are the interior spreads! Enjoy this journey back to St. Louis, 1994. “Hold on to your seats, Blues fans,” the story begins. “We’ve got some kine of hockey game here at the Kiel Center tonight…”

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To be continued in Issue #2: “Power Play: 2094!” (Read it now.)

Series backstory and full credits | Walt Jaschek home

Golden Adventures of Brett Hull: Issue 2 of 3

Branded Entertainment, Comic Writing, Comics, Concepting and Copywriting

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Issue #2: “Power Play: 2094” | Continued from Issue #1

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To be continued in Issue #3: “Sudden Death Overtime!”

Go back to Issue #1

Read the series backstory and full credits

Walt Jaschek home

Golden Adventures of Brett Hull: Issue 3 of 3

Branded Entertainment, Comic Writing, Comics, Concepting and Copywriting

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Issue #3: “Sudden Death Overtime!” | Read series backstory and full credits

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Read issue #1: “Slap-Shot to Destiny!”

Read Issue #2: “Power Play: 2094!”

Read series backstory and full credits

Walt Jaschek home

“Ned and the Nude” | A spec comic for The Simpsons™ by Walt Jaschek, Don Secrease and Bill Lux

Comic Writing, Comics, Funny Stuff, Simpsons, Spec

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Enjoy? Like or comment below. Thanks!

Can a Simpsons™ character handle full-frontal nudity? Even in the name of art? This 6-page “Ned and the Nude” comic by Walt Jaschek, Don Secrease and Bill Lux was created as an audition for a gig at Bongo, publisher of the Simpsons comicbook. It’s a tale about nudity in art and America’s queasiness about that. It’s also a silly Ned Flanders solo story. Simpsons are © 20th Century Fox. Created by Matt Groening. (Props 4ever, Matt.)

You can also read Walt’s naked script for this comic below — if you want to see how his brain works (and/or you’d like to hire him to write a comic.)

COMIC SCRIPT
“NED AND THE NUDE”

The Simpsons
Writer: Walt Jaschek

PAGE 1

Full-page splash.  In the foreground is a cute, female ART MODEL, her back to us, her head turned so we can see her face.  She is very, very NUDE.  One long arm thrusts out and bends back to her hip.  Framed in the space between her arm and body is our hero, NED FLANDERS.  He is sweating.  With one hand, he tugs at his pink collar. With the other, he hold a paint brush up to an canvas on an easel.  But the paint is dripping and smearing: he just can’t focus!

CUTE MODEL:  What’s WRONG, Mr. Flanders?

CUTE MODEL 2: Why won’t you…

CUTE MODEL 3: PAINT me?

FLANDERS 1: Well, I… [GULP!]

FLANDERS (thought 1:) Great gobs of GIDDY-GOO, man!

FLANDERS (thought 2:) Get a ho-ho-HOLD of yourself!

STORY TITLE:  NED AND THE NUDE

END PAGE 1

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PAGE 2

1 – A classroom.  From behind Ned. Across the room, the silhouette of the model, her hands on her hips.  Ned is turning to look up — there’s a hand on Ned’s shoulder. And a cigarette burning from the hand!

Voice (from off): YES, Ned. You do seem a little… “UPTIGHT.”

2 – Reveal: Marge’s sister Selma. She is chain smoking, pontificating like a self-important teacher.  Because in this class — she is!

Selma: STUDENTS!  Did I not LECTURE this class on the need for a true NUDE FIGURE ARTIST to let GO!…

Selma 2: GO!…

Selma 3: [[cough!]]

Selma 4: GO?

3 – A three-shot. Ned, at his easel. On the left, a little behind: Marge, also painting at an easel. On the right, also a little behind: Barney.

Ned: Oh GOSH, Selma!  You’re the best darn ADULT EDUCATION ART TEACHER here at EAST-LOWER SPRINGFIELD JUNIOR HIGH!

Ned: It’s JUST that…WELL…

4 – CU of Selma, scowling.

Selma: WHAT, Ned? WHAT?

5 – A shot past the model as Ned leaps up from the easel — he uses one hand to cover his eyes. With his other, he points to the model.  He can contain himself no longer.

Ned (yelling): The HUMAN BODY is OBSCENE!

NED (yelling 2):  And LOOKING at it is a mortal SIN so SEVERE it’ll yank your SPLEEN out!!!!

6 – 2-shot. Ned is artificially calm now, grinning sheepishly at Selma and making a circular gesture with his hand just above the surface of his canvas.

NED: Plus, I’d feel better with more time for the “UNDER-DRAWING.”

SELMA:  Grr!

END PAGE 2

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PAGE 3

1- Exterior shot of East-Lower Springfield Junior High.

SELMA (from within): Are you GETTING this, class?

SELMA (from within): Ned is EMBARASSED — by THIS!

2- In foreground, Selma gesturing to the tableau behind her. The beautiful, nude model. Holy cow! She looks like Britney Spears! With gigantic bosoms! And this is no normal pose: she’s holding a whip! While sucking on lollipop. Wearing (as it turns out) fishnets! About to get into a bathtub! While a fan blows her big hair.  In other words, a bunch of obvious cheesecake cliches.

(Selma’s word balloons hide the model’s naughtier bits.)

SELMA:  Merely by THIS:

SELMA 2:  A completely NATURAL, NORMAL BODY…

SELMA 3: …in a completely NEUTRAL POSE!

3- Selma leans in to taunt Ned. He holds his head in his hands.

SELMA (whispering): Is it because she looks like BRATNEY SPHERES?

NED: SWEET LORD IN HEAVEN! YES!

4 – Selma tosses the nude model a robe.

SELMA: ACHTUNG, my so-called “ARTISTS!”

SELMA 2: When deconstructing the NUDE…

5 – Selma dramatically pulls the straps of her Moo-Moo from her shoulders.

SELMA:  You must DIVORCE yourself from POP CULTURE CONTEXT!

6 – Floor level shot, past Selma’s disturbing, naked legs. The Moo-Moo is bundled at her feet. And in the background, our cast so far (Marge, Smithers, Barney) gasps in horror.

SELMA: (from above:) And THINK only…

SELMA 2: SEE only…

SELMA 3:  (Yelling):  MASS!!!

END OF PAGE 3

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PAGE 4

1- Same exterior shot as panel 1 on previous page. But now legions are running out the front door, still wearing paint smocks, paint hats, and wielding wet brushes. Who do we see here? How about… Chief Wiggums, Doctor Hibbard, and Apu…

GROUP SCREAM: AAAAAAAAAAAA!

2- Back inside. Ned and Selma. Ned is holding two thick paint brushes covering his eyes so he can’t see. Selma is putting her Moo-Moo back on.

SELMA: Yeah, this won’t work EITHER, Ned.

SELMA 2: We need a QUORUM to meet MODEL FFES.

NED:  [WHINE]

3 – Cut to: another part of the room. WILLIE, the Scottish groundskeeper at Springfield Elementary, is… ripping off his shirt! He’s really buff — super-hero buff! And he’s coming right at us!

WILLIE: HOW about THIS, Flanders…

WILLIE 2:  …ye wee bit o’ POOFY-BOY?

SELMA (from off):  WILLIE!?

4- Willie has pulled his pants off one muscuar leg, and has the other muscular leg in the air, pulling the pants from it. Flanders and Selma look on, amazed.

WILLIE: AYE!

SELMA: !?

NED:  EEK!

5 – Willie, lying on his side now on the model platform.  We’re looking past Selma now, and only her arm and lit cigarette hide his nether-regions.

WILLIE:  If it’s a BODY divorced of CONTEXT ye be needin’, PANSY-painters…

WILLIE 2: Grab y’r tubes of YELLOW OOOOCHRA…and HAV’ AT!

6 – CLOSE-UP OF NED.  He is holding two paintbrushes in the sign of the cross, as if stopping a vampire.

NED: No! NO! I won’t rendereth WILLIE, EITHER!

END PAGE 4

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PAGE 5

1- Ned points to his own booty as Selma his fellow artists look on.

NED: I can’t gaze upon ANY “BOO-TAY” that’s not in its God-given GARMENTS!

MARGE: But NED…

2 – Two-shot. Marge and Barney in front of their easels.

MARGE: THEN you won’t PASS the CLASS!

BARNEY: Yeah! And you’ll be doomed to REPEAT it FOR-EVER!

BARNEY 2: Like ME!

3- Ned consults a huge, 3-inch thick catalog, which he evidentally carries with him. On the cover: SPRINGFIELD ADULT EDUCATION / SPRING “SEMESTER”

NED: B… But I NEED to pass!

NED: It’s REQUIRED for admittance to ART 199:

NED: “The Art Of The FAMILY CIRCUS!”

4 – Ned is on his knees, burying his face in folds of Selma’s Moo-Moo.

NED: PLEASE, Selma — Is there ANYTHING I can DO to PASS…

NED: …that DOESN’T involve PAINTING the PANTSLESS?

5 – Selma puffs out a smoke ring and Flanders stares hopefully through it.

SELMA: WEEEELL — I can think of ONE “academic OUT.”

SELMA: It’s not really FAIR…

SELMA: …but it doesn’t break any COMMANDMENTS!

6 – Close-up of Ned, fists clenched, delighted.

NED:  I’LL DO IT!

END PAGE 5

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PAGE 6

Full-page panel. Taking up most of this panel is the nude figure of … NED HIMSELF! He is standing on one foot. The other foot is cupped in one hand, and the leg is bent accordlingly. . The other hand is behind his neck. He is contorted… and content. He looks almost like a human ice swan. And he has a rose in his teeth!

NED (thinking 1): SAY…THIS isn’t so bad!

NED (thinking 2):I guess if I can’t MAKE art — I can BE art!

NED (thinking 3):I feel so…LIBERATED!  So LOOSE! So…FREE! But then…

NED (thinking 4):That could just be the BREEZE!

And, looking past Ned, in a small horizontal group shot at the bottom of the panel, simultaneously reacting to this pose, is…

SELMA (pleased, framing him with her hands): FREEZE, you gorgeous MAN-CHILD!

MARGE: GASP!

BARNEY: NICE!

WILLIE: ACH!

SMITHERS (thinking):  C’MAGNIFIQUE!

CAPTION:  THE “END”

See more comics by Walt Jaschek | Read about Walt

Enjoy? Like or comment below. Thanks!

St. Louis Comic Creators Invade St. Louis Bread Company

Collaborators, Comics, Walt a Life

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A crazy, creative, collaborative crew. I am blessed to have incredibly talented artists as co-creators and friends here in St. Louis. Tonight wife Randy and I joined some of them for brainstorming, project development, catching up, and eating. Of course, eating! It was a Bread Company, after all, and bonus: we used a Panera Bread Gift Card, so we were golden.

Going around the table, counter-clockwise:

Kimberly Austin Daly, artist of the charming and delicate and delightful, wife of Paul Daly (we’ll get to him.)

Rick Burchett, Eisner-winning artist of Batman Adventures; co-artist of The Death of Superman; current artist on the Funky Winkerbean comic strip; and artist on the I-hope-gets-completed (some day) true “Help” story.

Randy Rosenbaum, artist with food; my wife; and fellow adventure-seeker on my blog, Walt A Life.

Walt Jaschek, writer of all this stuff, and then some.

Jeff Weigel, current artist on the Sunday Phantom comic strip; creator of the Dragon Girl graphic novel and The Sphinx; and many more amazing comics-related wonders.

Sam Maronie, long-time pop culture journalist and author of Tripping Through Pop-Culture!: (Mis) Adventures of an Entertainment Writer. Sam is leaving St. Louis for life in Columbus, Ohio! We miss you already, Sam.

Don Secrease, co-creator (with me) of Mel Cool: Mall Cop®: Comics, the Herobots Coloring & Games Book and newly-launched Terranauts 2020; artist on our Brett Hull comicbook series; and owner of the eBay store Pop’s Culture.

Lorenzo Lizana, creator of Scarab; comic convention sketch artist extraordinaire; and collaborator with me on a project so secret, he doesn’t even know what it is yet.

Paul Daly, artist of Julie Walker is The Phantom; pencil artist of the splash page of Terranauts 2020; artist of Recycled Man (both written by me); and fan-favorite artist on his own amazing properties, which you’ll experience soon.

P.S. Some of the comics and books mentioned above are on Amazon. Like these:

            

See you all again soon, artist friends! Typing… scripts… fast… as I… can…

Walt Jaschek

Terranauts: “The Call of Cold, Dark Places.” Page 1.

Comic Writing, Comics, In-Progress, Process Posts

Happy to report I’m writing adventure comics again! Deep into script for a deep-diving tale of The Terranauts, the team created by Paul Daly and Don Secrease. Splash page complete. What new menace taunts the ‘nauts? We’ll find out — in a cold, dark place.

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Credits on this page: Pencils by Paul Daly. A great composition meticulously realized. Coloring by Don Secrease. Masterful. Look at that water. Copy and inks by me. (Yeah, inks, too. “Walt Jaschek inking” is not something you usually see in any reasonable reality. But I wanted to try it. Let me tell you, inking Paul’s beautiful pencils is daunting. Fun, but daunting. Also, now my carpel tunnel has carpet tunnel.)

Here’s the fully inked page, just before I sent it to Don to do his amazing color stuff.

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We see this as an 8-pager and I’m diving into the rest of the script now.

Walt Jaschek likes spending time in warm, bright places.