Laugh Your Ads Off: Funny Radio Commercials by Paul Fey and Walt Jaschek

Collaborators, Concepting and Copywriting, Funny Stuff, Radio Commercials

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Funny radio commercials? Are they still a thing? Yes, funny radio commercials are still a thing. We specialize in ’em, and advertisers (and audiences) treasure ’em. Funny radio commercials provide an attention-getting break from the boring radio norm (radio today: zzzzzzzzzzz). Truly funny radio commercials also provide a memorable, positive, and thus loyalty-building listener experience. 

Please turn your volume up for these award-winning funny radio commercials, written or co-written by Walt Jaschek, and produced by Paul Fey, many from the heady days we were known as Paul & Walt Worldwide. 

“Robert Goulet” | :60 funny radio commercial for The Simpsons
$20,000 Mercury Award for Radio Humor

“Mission Persons” | :60 funny radio commercial for Matlock
Clio Award for “Best Radio Copywriting”


“Laugh Catalog” | :60 funny radio commerical for George Schlatter’s Comedy Club
Clio Award for “Best Use of Sound”


“Viva La Volvo” | :60 funny radio commercial for Volvo
National Addy Award winner


“Put Your Tongue on the Radio” | :60 funny radio commercial for Gene Simmons Family Jewels
Promax Muse Award for radio


“The Ballad of Judge Wapner” | :60 funny radio commercial for The People’s Court
Promax Muse Award winner for radio, National Addy Award for radio


“Millions of Americans” | :60 funny radio commercial for the American Optometric Association


“I’m Shaving My Head!” | :60 funny radio commercial for Star Trek: The Next Generation

These funny radio commercials are © Paul & Walt Worldwide and © World Wide Wadio.  In other words, these guys:

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P.S. Wondering how Paul and Walt met? The UMSL Current student newspaper just published a story about that: and the answer involves a soft drink neither of them now drink. Check it out.

Action Comics #1000: A Milestone and an Exercise in Impulse Control

Comics, Treasures, Walt a Life

Big day in comicdom! Action Comics #1000 is out, the first comicbook in history to reach that number. It’s also the 80th anniversary (to the day) of Action #1, which introduced Superman to the world. “I’ll buy just ONE COPY of issue #1000,” I said this morning. “I WON’T buy the 9 variant cover editions, each representing a different decade. I WON’T!” One hour later…

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Walt Jaschek Looks “Professorial” Promoting Webster U. Radio Class.

Appearances, Radio Commercials, Teaching, Walt a Life

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Come on, a little too professorial. The elbow patches are spot on, sure, but who lines up markers like that, and why would the guy who tries to simplify everything write so much sh*t on the board?

“Don’t blame me,” said Walt Jaschek. “I’m teaching radio advertising again at Webster University School of Communications during the Spring, 2018, semester, and a student at the end of class snapped at pic on my phone.”

At your own request?

“Well, sure,” Walt admitted. “I promote the class as a way for advertising majors to learn to strategize, write, produce, cast, direct and engineer a original, 3-spot radio campaign — — and I wanted to look the part.”

Walt’s slogan for the class, which is filled with mostly funny radio, old and new: “Laugh Your Ads Off.”

That might be better slogan than the one he had for his previous presentation to UMSL ad students about thinking big: “Let Loose the Large.”

Okay, “professor.” Just please don’t tell us you have a pipe in your pocket.

P.S. Hear funny radio commercials co-created by Walt.

“Ned and the Nude” | A spec comic for The Simpsons™ by Walt Jaschek, Don Secrease and Bill Lux

Comic Writing, Comics, Funny Stuff, Simpsons, Spec

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Enjoy? Like or comment below. Thanks!

Can a Simpsons™ character handle full-frontal nudity? Even in the name of art? This 6-page “Ned and the Nude” comic by Walt Jaschek, Don Secrease and Bill Lux was created as an audition for a gig at Bongo, publisher of the Simpsons comicbook. It’s a tale about nudity in art and America’s queasiness about that. It’s also a silly Ned Flanders solo story. Simpsons are © 20th Century Fox. Created by Matt Groening. (Props 4ever, Matt.)

You can also read Walt’s naked script for this comic below — if you want to see how his brain works (and/or you’d like to hire him to write a comic.)

COMIC SCRIPT
“NED AND THE NUDE”

The Simpsons
Writer: Walt Jaschek

PAGE 1

Full-page splash.  In the foreground is a cute, female ART MODEL, her back to us, her head turned so we can see her face.  She is very, very NUDE.  One long arm thrusts out and bends back to her hip.  Framed in the space between her arm and body is our hero, NED FLANDERS.  He is sweating.  With one hand, he tugs at his pink collar. With the other, he hold a paint brush up to an canvas on an easel.  But the paint is dripping and smearing: he just can’t focus!

CUTE MODEL:  What’s WRONG, Mr. Flanders?

CUTE MODEL 2: Why won’t you…

CUTE MODEL 3: PAINT me?

FLANDERS 1: Well, I… [GULP!]

FLANDERS (thought 1:) Great gobs of GIDDY-GOO, man!

FLANDERS (thought 2:) Get a ho-ho-HOLD of yourself!

STORY TITLE:  NED AND THE NUDE

END PAGE 1

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

PAGE 2

1 – A classroom.  From behind Ned. Across the room, the silhouette of the model, her hands on her hips.  Ned is turning to look up — there’s a hand on Ned’s shoulder. And a cigarette burning from the hand!

Voice (from off): YES, Ned. You do seem a little… “UPTIGHT.”

2 – Reveal: Marge’s sister Selma. She is chain smoking, pontificating like a self-important teacher.  Because in this class — she is!

Selma: STUDENTS!  Did I not LECTURE this class on the need for a true NUDE FIGURE ARTIST to let GO!…

Selma 2: GO!…

Selma 3: [[cough!]]

Selma 4: GO?

3 – A three-shot. Ned, at his easel. On the left, a little behind: Marge, also painting at an easel. On the right, also a little behind: Barney.

Ned: Oh GOSH, Selma!  You’re the best darn ADULT EDUCATION ART TEACHER here at EAST-LOWER SPRINGFIELD JUNIOR HIGH!

Ned: It’s JUST that…WELL…

4 – CU of Selma, scowling.

Selma: WHAT, Ned? WHAT?

5 – A shot past the model as Ned leaps up from the easel — he uses one hand to cover his eyes. With his other, he points to the model.  He can contain himself no longer.

Ned (yelling): The HUMAN BODY is OBSCENE!

NED (yelling 2):  And LOOKING at it is a mortal SIN so SEVERE it’ll yank your SPLEEN out!!!!

6 – 2-shot. Ned is artificially calm now, grinning sheepishly at Selma and making a circular gesture with his hand just above the surface of his canvas.

NED: Plus, I’d feel better with more time for the “UNDER-DRAWING.”

SELMA:  Grr!

END PAGE 2

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

PAGE 3

1- Exterior shot of East-Lower Springfield Junior High.

SELMA (from within): Are you GETTING this, class?

SELMA (from within): Ned is EMBARASSED — by THIS!

2- In foreground, Selma gesturing to the tableau behind her. The beautiful, nude model. Holy cow! She looks like Britney Spears! With gigantic bosoms! And this is no normal pose: she’s holding a whip! While sucking on lollipop. Wearing (as it turns out) fishnets! About to get into a bathtub! While a fan blows her big hair.  In other words, a bunch of obvious cheesecake cliches.

(Selma’s word balloons hide the model’s naughtier bits.)

SELMA:  Merely by THIS:

SELMA 2:  A completely NATURAL, NORMAL BODY…

SELMA 3: …in a completely NEUTRAL POSE!

3- Selma leans in to taunt Ned. He holds his head in his hands.

SELMA (whispering): Is it because she looks like BRATNEY SPHERES?

NED: SWEET LORD IN HEAVEN! YES!

4 – Selma tosses the nude model a robe.

SELMA: ACHTUNG, my so-called “ARTISTS!”

SELMA 2: When deconstructing the NUDE…

5 – Selma dramatically pulls the straps of her Moo-Moo from her shoulders.

SELMA:  You must DIVORCE yourself from POP CULTURE CONTEXT!

6 – Floor level shot, past Selma’s disturbing, naked legs. The Moo-Moo is bundled at her feet. And in the background, our cast so far (Marge, Smithers, Barney) gasps in horror.

SELMA: (from above:) And THINK only…

SELMA 2: SEE only…

SELMA 3:  (Yelling):  MASS!!!

END OF PAGE 3

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

PAGE 4

1- Same exterior shot as panel 1 on previous page. But now legions are running out the front door, still wearing paint smocks, paint hats, and wielding wet brushes. Who do we see here? How about… Chief Wiggums, Doctor Hibbard, and Apu…

GROUP SCREAM: AAAAAAAAAAAA!

2- Back inside. Ned and Selma. Ned is holding two thick paint brushes covering his eyes so he can’t see. Selma is putting her Moo-Moo back on.

SELMA: Yeah, this won’t work EITHER, Ned.

SELMA 2: We need a QUORUM to meet MODEL FFES.

NED:  [WHINE]

3 – Cut to: another part of the room. WILLIE, the Scottish groundskeeper at Springfield Elementary, is… ripping off his shirt! He’s really buff — super-hero buff! And he’s coming right at us!

WILLIE: HOW about THIS, Flanders…

WILLIE 2:  …ye wee bit o’ POOFY-BOY?

SELMA (from off):  WILLIE!?

4- Willie has pulled his pants off one muscuar leg, and has the other muscular leg in the air, pulling the pants from it. Flanders and Selma look on, amazed.

WILLIE: AYE!

SELMA: !?

NED:  EEK!

5 – Willie, lying on his side now on the model platform.  We’re looking past Selma now, and only her arm and lit cigarette hide his nether-regions.

WILLIE:  If it’s a BODY divorced of CONTEXT ye be needin’, PANSY-painters…

WILLIE 2: Grab y’r tubes of YELLOW OOOOCHRA…and HAV’ AT!

6 – CLOSE-UP OF NED.  He is holding two paintbrushes in the sign of the cross, as if stopping a vampire.

NED: No! NO! I won’t rendereth WILLIE, EITHER!

END PAGE 4

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

PAGE 5

1- Ned points to his own booty as Selma his fellow artists look on.

NED: I can’t gaze upon ANY “BOO-TAY” that’s not in its God-given GARMENTS!

MARGE: But NED…

2 – Two-shot. Marge and Barney in front of their easels.

MARGE: THEN you won’t PASS the CLASS!

BARNEY: Yeah! And you’ll be doomed to REPEAT it FOR-EVER!

BARNEY 2: Like ME!

3- Ned consults a huge, 3-inch thick catalog, which he evidentally carries with him. On the cover: SPRINGFIELD ADULT EDUCATION / SPRING “SEMESTER”

NED: B… But I NEED to pass!

NED: It’s REQUIRED for admittance to ART 199:

NED: “The Art Of The FAMILY CIRCUS!”

4 – Ned is on his knees, burying his face in folds of Selma’s Moo-Moo.

NED: PLEASE, Selma — Is there ANYTHING I can DO to PASS…

NED: …that DOESN’T involve PAINTING the PANTSLESS?

5 – Selma puffs out a smoke ring and Flanders stares hopefully through it.

SELMA: WEEEELL — I can think of ONE “academic OUT.”

SELMA: It’s not really FAIR…

SELMA: …but it doesn’t break any COMMANDMENTS!

6 – Close-up of Ned, fists clenched, delighted.

NED:  I’LL DO IT!

END PAGE 5

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

PAGE 6

Full-page panel. Taking up most of this panel is the nude figure of … NED HIMSELF! He is standing on one foot. The other foot is cupped in one hand, and the leg is bent accordlingly. . The other hand is behind his neck. He is contorted… and content. He looks almost like a human ice swan. And he has a rose in his teeth!

NED (thinking 1): SAY…THIS isn’t so bad!

NED (thinking 2):I guess if I can’t MAKE art — I can BE art!

NED (thinking 3):I feel so…LIBERATED!  So LOOSE! So…FREE! But then…

NED (thinking 4):That could just be the BREEZE!

And, looking past Ned, in a small horizontal group shot at the bottom of the panel, simultaneously reacting to this pose, is…

SELMA (pleased, framing him with her hands): FREEZE, you gorgeous MAN-CHILD!

MARGE: GASP!

BARNEY: NICE!

WILLIE: ACH!

SMITHERS (thinking):  C’MAGNIFIQUE!

CAPTION:  THE “END”

See more comics by Walt Jaschek | Read about Walt

Enjoy? Like or comment below. Thanks!

It is to laugh: Walt Jaschek inducted into St. Louis Media Hall of Fame

Awards, Press Coverage, Radio Commercials, St. Louis Media Hall of Fame, Walt a Life

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It’s not a dream. It’s not a hoax. It’s not an imaginary tale.

Walt Jaschek and his long-time friend and creative collaborator Paul Fey, writers and producers of funny radio commercials, were inducted into the St. Louis Media Hall of Fame at a gala ceremony in downtown St. Louis on March 17, 2018.

The St. Louis Media History Foundation inducted 20 other individuals into the St. Louis Media Hall of Fame that night, as well. More than 200 people attended the gala. (See the full list of the St. Louis Media Hall of Fame 2017 Inductees on LinkedIn.)

Said the Foundation: “Individually and together, Paul and Walt have reputations for creating high-impact, industry-admired advertising campaigns. They teamed up in 1991 to create Paul & Walt Worldwide, the radio commercial boutique agency and production company. With offices in Hollywood and St. Louis, their work quickly won CLIOS, ADDYs and many other awards for national brands.”

Paul is now President and Chief Creative Officer of World Wide Wadio in Hollywood.  Walt is now writer of comics and comedy here at Walt Now. Both men continue to collaborate frequently.

See Paul Fey’s profile in the St. Louis Media Hall of Fame.

See Walt Jaschek’s profile in the St. Louis Media Hall of Fame.

Return to WaltNow.com

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Bonus scene from the night of the ceremony:  Walt and what he calls his “Hall of Fam:” From left, son Adam; Walt’s wife Randy; and Adam’s fiancé Bernie.

Hi. I’m writer Walt Jaschek. Thinking big and living large.

Comic Writing, Concepting and Copywriting, Content Writing

At least in my own imagination. Luckily, my imagination is my livelihood. Specialties:

Copywriting

Content Writing

Comics Writing

They’re all represented on this site, in examples old and new, along with some of my creative musings; real-life moments; scintillating press coverage; creative treasures; and even a guide to pronouncing “Jaschek.”

My name is Walt. I’m a writer. At your service. Need me? Hollar. And keep thinking big.